Thursday, June 14, 2012

What I Want To Say To You on Fathers Day.

Time for another OAR prompt: Someone else in the adoption constellation- what do you want to say to them on Fathers Day? Open Adoption Bloggers

Today it's for Fathers Day.

Well, I want to write to my dad. He's not a part of the 'open adoption' community per se, but he's mine.


You were not there when I was a child- mom didn't know you then, so that doesn't surprise me.

You were there when I was a preteen- and lacked all common sense.
You were there when I was a teenager- in other words a total shithead.
You were there the day I left for University.
You were there when I called from school whining because I was cold.
You were there the day I called home and said I wasn't going back to University.

And all of that surprised me then. It doesn't surprise me any more. I have learned to expect that you will be there.

You were there the day I told you I was moving to Winnipeg. You sat and listened while I cried and explained that I needed to go spend time with my biological father- needed to understand him. You didn't say anything. You didn't say I couldn't (or shouldn't) go. You didn't chastise me for being 'stupid' or leaving school a month before the school year ended.

You were there the day I called home and said I'd met 'the one'. The day I brought him and my son home.

You were there the day I got married.

You were there the night I called home to tell you and mom about my pregnancy with Brat, and then again with Monster.

You were there through it all.

You are the kind of father I needed. The kind of father I married in D. The kind of father I hope I am raising my son to be.

I love you very much, and all the times I was a shit as a teenager and pulled the "You're not my REAL dad- you can't tell me what to do!" bullshit still haunt me. But you don't want my apologies for those times- you say, "I wasn't a perfect father either sweetheart." But you were. Because you were there.

You love me, with all my faults, through all those trials you loved me anyways. And you were there. Thank you for always being there.

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